Colin is going to be four years old in a little over a week. I don't know how this is possible, yet here we are. My sweet boy has been through a whole lot this year and he is doing absolutely amazing. I have written several times during the years about Colin and his "quirks", but I never had any answers. I read everything I could get my hands on and last summer at this exact time, I started trying to get real help. I have always known that Colin was different than kids his age and it was time that I found someone to help me. We started with the
pedi, and from there were referred to an occupational therapy group and a
neuropsychologist. The wait times were insane. We didn't get into the OT group until January (7 month wait) and the
neuro took until April! I took solace in the fact that we were clearly going to the best places if they were so booked up and just waited. We learned so much about Colin and the main thing that I took from everything is that we have stepped in to help him so much earlier than most kids and that is going to help him beyond measure.
First of all, he is brilliant. He was given the
Wechsler test for IQ and his score was 127. The highest score possible is 130. He is considered "exceptionally able/gifted" and tested in the "superior" range in the vast majority of the testing. The doctor told us that the number would be even higher were it not for his
ADHD issues. I have known all along that he was taking in too much information for his age and being totally overwhelmed with all the input he is receiving. When he was two, he was pointing out light fixtures in restaurants that resembled the ones in our home and noticing that our brand of dishwasher is the same one in a friends house. Around his second birthday, he was talking in full complex sentences with all the words in the right place and the right tense. He spoke like an adult. His teachers last year were very involved with the testing and they wrote letters about Colin to the doctor. They spoke about how he notices everything and has trouble getting past something, like a shoelace being untied or a hair ribbon out of place. He has an almost
OCD way of needing things fixed that are not "right". He is also extremely nervous when placed in any new situation, whether it be a new child, teacher or even a change in schedule or routine. Transitions are very hard on Colin. Which brings me to the next diagnosis,
PDD.
We were explained that Pervasive Developmental Disorder is not
Aspergers, but an a-typical presentation that looks a lot like it sometimes. He cannot get the label of
Aspergers because he does not have the eye contact/social component that is required for the
dx. (Which is wonderful news!) We were told that kids with
PDD usually prefer babies and adults and battle the sensory issues much more than
Aspergers kids. That describes Colin perfectly. He is a brilliant, complex little man. He has trouble with some social cues and is constantly worried about how other people are feeling and if they are okay. Like if he makes eye contact with a baby and that baby doesn't smile, he will start crying and ask why the baby doesn't like him. He functions on a level that kids his age don't and that can lead to major social problems. He is currently seeing a wonderful therapist who works with him weekly on things like social skills. He was also diagnosed with
ADHD and general anxiety disorder. The anxiety disorder apparently goes hand in hand with his
giftedness. He has always taken in more information than he can process and it led to panic attacks. He worries about everything, from the health of his family to what will happen if we have a fire. We found out that he had a cavity this week, and the discussion that I had with him about it upset the heck out of him (despite trying hard to make it a positive and happy discussion). This morning we had breakfast out and on the way home, he burst into tears, worried about getting a cavity on the way home before we could brush our teeth. He takes everything so seriously. There is a new little boy in class that is disruptive and he upset Colin so much that he started chewing his shirt. He chewed it so much that it looked as though he had taken a shower when I picked him up. He just gets nervous and I hate that for him. He used to be scared to leave the house, which was a big reason why I started seeking help in the first place. Getting him into the car, even if he knew we were going somewhere fun, was a huge battle. Colin likes routine, he likes to know exactly what is going to happen and he likes order. He doesn't like noise that he can't control. And he loves to take care of things. :-) The
ADHD problem is going to follow him forever, more than likely, although once we get the anxiety under control, that will help. He just constantly takes in too much and his mind jumps from one thing to another like lightening. If we can help him focus, there is no limit to what he can accomplish.
Colin is a new man these days. He has a whole team helping him now...his psychotherapist Sheri, his occupational therapist Cheryl and his
neuropsychologist, Dr.
Bengston. He goes to both therapies once a week and has come so far! Getting dressed and leaving the house are no longer the big deal they used to be. He gets upset very easily if he can't make a toy work or if something goes wrong in any way with what he is doing, but he recently learned techniques to help him calm down. Today, he built a castle that toppled over and he screamed and started to throw things. All I said was "Colin?" and he ran into his room and began taking deep breaths and blowing them out very slowly. Cheryl taught him to clasp his hands together very hard (pressure is good) and breath out very slowly when he gets overwhelmed. When I rounded the corner to his room, he was doing just that! It blew my mind that he finally made the connection and is starting to try to help himself. Sheri is teaching him how to play with other kids that are not gifted. :-) He is learning that he can't tell other kids how to do everything or what the answer is. He is learning that kids his age might not want to play the same way he does, but that is okay. He may know all about forces like gravity and friction, but he needed help learning to peddle a trike. He is just Colin.
There is so much more to say and this could go on forever. I have hesitated to write about it because it overwhelms me to attempt to cover all that we have been through. But I want to start doing it in little bits and pieces so that we can look back and see how far we have come and how amazing Colin has been since birth. I don't know if anyone watches "The Big Bang Theory" besides my family, but we often joke that we hope Colin is a "Leonard" instead of a "Sheldon". Although, if he is a Sheldon, that is just fine with me. :-)
I rocked dinner tonight. Engagement chicken and the best scalloped potatoes ever. Oh my lord have mercy, they were good. Colin Shaffer, current president of "The Coalition to Avoid All Food that Our Mothers Slave Over", ate every bite off his plate. It was that good. I also rocked more calories than I should eat in a whole day, but let's focus on the positive. I have three words for you: jarlsberg, asiago and mozzarella. Oh, yes.
New York in Vegas! Lord, it was hot. 
