Just Me, Myself and I

Well, this SUCKS. Jer left on Friday morning...we dropped him off at the airport at 9:00am. So here we are...Sunday morning and I am miserable. I have been sad for about a week now, but the night before he left I could feel a real funk starting to set in. I cried my eyeballs out when I dropped him off. He is a PILOT for heavens sake...it is not like I am new to him being away from home. Obviously he has never been gone for so long at once, but still! I am truly surprised at the intense reaction I have had to him leaving...5 weeks sounds like a relatively small amount of time in the grand scheme of things, but I feel like sadness has settled around me like a fog that I can't get out of. Knowing that he won't be walking in the door in the evening, or any evening any time soon for that matter, is hurting my heart and making the days extremely long. I am so lucky to be married to Jeremy...to call him my best friend is putting it too lightly. The void that I feel right now is proof that he is my soul mate. This ache that I feel goes far beyond just missing someone to help me with Colin and the house. I really feel like part of me is missing. I will try not to spend the next month writing sappy odes to him, but since this is my diary, there may be a few. :-)

As soon as Colin is over this cold, I am going to start taking him out to the playgroups that I have been missing and try to get as active as possible. We need to keep busy! The hardest part about being alone is getting all of the little stuff done. I find it hard to get ready to go out (as in looking presentable at a playgroup with actual adult interaction) unless I do it before Colin gets up. He is waking up well before dawn with his cold going on, so that has been next to impossible. Last night I mopped the kitchen floor, did laundry, cleaned up the living room chaos and Colin's messy bath area after Colin went to sleep. That is going to be the name of the game for the next few weeks. It will be easy to get very behind on household stuff without my extra pair of hands, so I am going to be very strict about doing a few things each night so that I don't end up in a wrecked house. I felt much better last night after seeing a relatively clean living room and not having my socks stick to the kitchen floor. I tucked myself into bed and ordered "Made of Honor" from On Demand. It was just what I needed...a short, ridiculous, frothy girly movie full of McDreamy and no substance. Jer would have HATED it, so I very much enjoyed my little girls night with my Hershey Kisses. That actually made me smile. :-)