Two Days Down...

Day two is over and we SURVIVED THE FIRST WEEK! WHEW!! I am so glad to have that under our belts now! I also want to thank all of you for your comments, both here and on facebook...it has helped SO MUCH to have such good friends that I can lean on!

I won't sugarcoat it, this morning was horrible. Colin started digging in his heels the minute he woke up. He wouldn't even get dressed. I finally had to physically restrain him to get clothes on and then he wouldn't get in the car. He even started arching his back and screaming so that I couldn't buckle his car seat. I was sweating bullets by this point! I had to drag him out of the car and into the school and then he literally attached himself to my body. When we rounded the corner to his classroom, he really started putting on the big show! He was screaming like you have never heard with tears and his nose pouring all over the place. I thought he would surely lose his voice. I tried to pluck him off of me, which ended with him pulling my shirt almost completely off. It was crazy! His teachers had to help me and they physically extracted him from my body, which is when I made a mad dash for the car. It was brutal, but I was prepared for it. Despite the horrible beginning, I still did not get a phone call from the school. I am already getting the picture...Colin pulls it together immediately after I leave. If there was any real problem, I know that they would call me.

While Colin was at school, I went to the dentist. For the first time since he was born, I actually made my appointment the first time without having to reschedule over and over. That is a beautiful thing! I also ran some errands, which felt like heaven on earth. It is amazing how much you appreciate going to Target without a child in tow...it was so great! I came home and even managed to pick up the house! I actually ran the vacuum without having to find Colin's noise blocking head phones first! It was great to be able to get some things done. At 2pm, I went back to get the little man and it went really good. Ms. Kelli said that he was "perfect" today and had absolutely no problems. He even brought home his very first piece of artwork for the fridge! I got a little teary over that one! :-) When I got there, she was weighing him for their stat sheet and before he saw me, Ms. Kelli was holding him in her arms and he was very happy to be there. That brought me more peace than you can imagine. Colin is not quick to let anyone touch him, so to see him that comfortable being loved on by her was a dream come true. She pulled me aside and told me that she loves that he already chants "Miss Kelli!!" over and over when he wants her. She said that he is the only child in the classroom already calling her by name. I am not really shocked by that. haha! She also said, "There is just something about him...I can already tell that he is going to be one of my most special favorites. He just melts me!" How great is that?!?!? I almost kissed her! Now, Colin still told me the whole way home that he does not like school and that they did nothing fun and that he did not have a favorite part of his day because he does not like school at all. That is a direct quote. BUT, there is no way that Colin's teacher is already being "melted" by him unless he is having fun and being his usual sweet self. So I don't believe a word he is saying. ;-) When we first left, I offered to take him for ice cream. He yelled "NO" and sulked in the backseat...but then when we started to pass Blue Cherry, he changed his tune and said he wanted to go. The next thing you know, we are having ice cream together and he is laughing and having fun. So, I consider today a success!

I am absolutely going to start keeping Colin on more of a schedule. That is a great idea (thanks, Shannon!) and I know it will help. He is going to start getting up and dressed every day first thing, even if we don't have anywhere to be. I should have been doing that for a long time, since he thrives on routines. I am also going to get a big calendar over the weekend for him so that I can label the days and what we are doing during the week. It will help him to have a visual of what is going to happen next and that way he knows what to expect. He will be able to see when he has school and when he is home with Mommy and hopefully that will help him with the transitions. We have a long road ahead of us, but I feel good about it. We are going to make it! :-)

Let the Countdown to Tuesday Begin!

We made it through preschool open house! Colin and I took this picture as Daddy was leaving for work and we were heading over to the school. The whole thing went surprisingly well and while I am still absolutely freaking out about it, I think I might live. :-) When we pulled into the parking lot, Colin announced "There is MY SCHOOL!" and actually sounded happy about it. We parked and headed inside with a sea of other people, which made my palms start to sweat. The first part of the morning was a brief assembly in the auditorium and it took Colin about 10 minutes of walking around in the very back with me assuring him that he would be fine before he would go sit with me in the crowd. Once we sat down, he immediately made friends with the two little girls sitting in front of and behind us. It was love at first sight because both girls responded to his knock knock jokes and agreed to play "I Spy". He was having so much fun that I heard absolutely nothing that was said in the assembly. Let's hope it was not important information. The assembly started and ended with a prayer, during which Colin yelled "Mommy! Am I bowing my head? LOOK AT ME! Am I doing it? Where is God? Is he here? AMEN!!!!". It was a beautiful thing. ;-)

After the assembly, we headed to his classroom and met his new teachers, Ms. Gina and Ms. Kelli. They were both very nice and seemed excited. Colin loved the classroom and managed not to have any meltdowns while we were saying hello to all the kids and parents. It was a chaotic atmosphere, so I did not really have a chance to ask a lot of questions with the teachers. I found out when to show up and what to bring and Colin was well behaved. I briefly broached the subject of Colin's sensitivities with them and they both gave me the smiles and nods that you would expect from women used to dealing with mothers dropping off their kids for the first time. You could tell that they were basically dismissing my worries as nervous mom stuff, but I can't blame them at all. I am sure they get lots of speeches from worry wart mothers and they don't know me from Adam yet. They will have first hand knowledge of Colin soon enough and we can touch base again in a less chaotic environment than the open house. They did reaffirm that the best idea was to just drop Colin off and walk right out the door and that is exactly what I am going to do. Colin is going to flip out, but I know that me staying won't solve the problem one bit. They said that they never have to call parents back to get the child, but they certainly won't hesitate to do so if the need arises. That works for me! Like every mother on the planet, I will be absolutely devastated when I leave there with Colin screaming for me. I have already decided to take myself straight over for a coffee and pedicure immediately after I leave. I am hoping that giving myself a small treat will make me feel better and also keep me from parking my butt in the hallway and watching the whole day from the corner of the window! I wish I knew someone with a supply of Xanax...I think I might need one on Tuesday. ;-)

Colin warmed up to the school very quickly and I still believe in my heart that he is going to love this place. It is the most beautiful church and the whole school area is bright and cheerful. It seems like the perfect fit. I also found out while we were there that Colin can move into the twice weekly program. Originally they did not have room, so we went ahead with the one day plan. They made room for him and I am going to take them up on the offer, at least to start off. I think going every Tuesday and Thursday in the beginning will help him acclimate and warm up to the idea much faster than going on Mondays alone. There is just too much time between the once a week class and I know it will take him ages to get used to that. I plan to take him on Tuesday and Thursday instead, at least for the first month. At that point, we will re-evaluate and see what we think. So here is to Labor Day Weekend...our last one before Colin is an official preschooler! :-)

Preschool Prep

Tomorrow morning is the open house at Colin's preschool. I am excited and OH SO NERVOUS! We go from 9 -11:30am, with an assembly first and then breaking up into classrooms to meet the teachers and get a lay of the land. Tomorrow is an important day...if things go good, dropping him off for his first day next week will be a lot easier. If anything goes wrong...well, let's just pray that it doesn't! My prayer is that things are not too loud or overwhelming tomorrow and that his class is full of quiet children. (Yes, I realize that the exact opposite will happen!) :-) Colin has his lunchbox, backpack and fireman nap mat all ready to go and I literally cannot fathom that I am going to drop him off at preschool next week! It feels a little like the twilight zone. This boy was a newborn baby literally 5 minutes ago. I knew this day would come, but it feels so strange to imagine him in a classroom environment already, even if it is just one day a week. I am stressed out by the unknown in all of this and how Colin will handle a change this drastic with his sensory stuff, but I also have this feeling deep down in my gut that he is going to love it. There will be new things to learn and he is such a sponge these days...I think he will be blown away by how much fun it is, as long as we can get past the initial upset that is inevitable with a change this big.

The last time I left Colin somewhere was the day I quit work when he was 6 months old. With the exception of the occasional drop-off at his grandparents house (and even that is rare), he has not been dropped off anywhere. I don't know how long it will take him to adjust to this, so I am beyond anxious to get the first day here so that I can just know what I am dealing with. He will not even entertain the idea of being left at school and any time I bring it up, he says that I have to stay with him. Since he has no idea what preschool will really be like, I am hoping that he quickly sees that everything is fine and that I will be back. I am also wondering how long the teachers will let him cry before they make me come back and get him. :-) I'm REALLY wondering what it will feel like to be without a child from 9am to 2pm on Mondays! I have these visions of a clean house, laundry folded and put away, dinner done and my eyebrows properly waxed. I imagine what it will feel like to grocery shop by myself on Mondays and not have to purchase $15 worth of extras to keep Colin quiet and in the cart. I picture picking out my own library book and making a fall centerpiece for the kitchen table. I just don't know what I will do with 5 whole hours to myself once a week. It sounds decadent in the extreme. Heck, I might even paint my toenails! How about that! :-)

Exceptional

This is a big day in our little household! We took a family trip to tour the preschool where Colin will go this fall and finally got signed up. I am just so excited!!! After much thought and looking at a lot of different options, we finally decided on a church program that is very close to home and perfect for our little man. Colin will start out attending one day a week, Mondays, with the option to increase to two or even three days as he progresses. This is a big step for Colin and I am thrilled with our choice. I love everything about the program and really loved the director and assistant that we spent time with. The assistant director is the mother of a sensitive boy who sounds much like Colin and she spoke with me about him and how she understands the process involved with helping make Colin feel at home there. That brings me a lot of peace and really makes me know that we chose the perfect place for Colin. I have confidence that he will be loved there and that is exactly what I needed. He starts this fall with the regular school calendar. The really great news is that we plan to start attending church there, which will give Colin all summer to become familiar with the facility, teachers, and being dropped off. We have not gone to church with Colin yet, but after today I feel so excited to start going and getting Colin involved in their program. By the time the school year rolls around, he should be used to being dropped off there, so the transition should be smooth. The church is a casual, open and cheerful environment and I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I truly feel like God lead me in this direction and the peace in my heart is palpable!

Last week, Kim sent me an email about a book that she stumbled upon that she thought would be helpful. That is putting it mildly. She actually gave me a huge gift in pointing me toward the book and I will be in her debt for a long time. The book is called "The Highly Sensitive Child" by Dr. Elaine Aron. She writes about a small percentage of the population (15%) who are born with a very special personality...highly sensitive. I have spent so many months quietly researching Colin and his temperament only to come to one dead end after another. Despite long hours of endless searching, nothing ever seemed to fit Colin. I always came up with information on Aspergers, which just does not fit Colin. He is sensitive and is bothered by things that other kids are not, but he meets none of the criteria to fall on the spectrum for Autism, even the most highly functioning. He clearly is not autistic, in fact he is the polar opposite of most autistic traits, but is showing signs of being gifted and hyper sensitive. Finally, finally, this book showed me the way. It is my son. It is not a disorder, as I have always known in my heart, but rather a trait he was born with that needs it's own set of parenting skills. From the first word of the book, the doctor was talking about Colin. I actually cried for the first few pages...the relief of finding information that actually fit our lives is simply invaluable. Colin is a child who notices things that others do not...from little nuances in others feelings to the smallest sounds or slightest smells. Colin experiences the world on a different level than most of us do and processes a lot more information than the average two year old. When Colin appears shy, he is really taking in his environment and seeing everything. When someone in a room is sad, Colin knows it and wonders why that is. The book also talks about these children and their innate love of babies (I really teared up when I read that...talk about Colin!) and why they like to nurture. There is so much that I can't really even discuss it all without writing for hours. He will always be easily overwhelmed by things because of how his brain works and I am now armed with information and skills to help him. I can be his champion now and help him navigate the world. The knowledge and techniques the doctor speaks about have already helped me and I am not even finished with the book yet! I feel like I have gotten to look through a window at Colin's world and everything makes more sense now. I can understand why he does not like rough housing or people in his personal space unless on his terms and I can help others understand that, too. He is a brilliant little boy and I have always always known he was special...and now I have a guide to just how special he is. There will be challenges while growing up, but heck...every parent has their own set of them!! The author calls them exceptional children and I totally agree. I am so honored that I was chosen to be his mother! There is also a good chance that it won't be long before I am not smart enough to help him with his homework, but that is another post. ;-)

So, long story long....I am having a very good day.