Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Watch Out World...She's Ready to Overshare!

Things that are on my mind in no particular order:

1. I don't understand hats. Americans in general don't understand them, I suppose. Cute hats are the trend right now, but I can't figure out how to wear them. I was in Charming Charlie the other day and there were so many cute hats, but buying one gives me a panic attack. I bought the cutest cashmere winter beret last year which I wore zero times. I couldn't figure out when to wear it. When it's cold...sure...but then do you keep it on inside? Do you take it off? If you wear one of the new fedora type hats, when the heck do you take that off? Do you wear it all the time? Do you look like a giant dork if you're 34 years old and rocking one in the middle of Bed Bath and Beyond? I am going to put money on that answer being "yes". I always secretly like trends that I don't think I am cool enough or British enough to pull off. This section also applies to scarves. I love scarves. I cannot bring myself to wear one. I always look like a giant walking scarf with a head. Do they sell scarves for short girls? Below is what I don't look like in a scarf:
Did she take this off when she got to her destination? I just don't know.

2. I look and (more importantly) feel like an idiot when I wear a necklace. I put this into the category of "things that are wrong with Chalna". I love necklaces...all those big, chunky, fabulous things hanging in every store...but when I get one home, it sits without ever being worn. I talk myself out of wearing one 99.9% of the time. First of all, I feel like they are too dressy for almost everywhere I ever go. If I am going out for girls night or a date with Jer, I will put one on and wear it for about 15 minutes around the house and then take it off before I leave. I always decide that I don't like something about it. Just the feeling of a big necklace around my throat is oddly uncomfortable to me. And regardless of the outfit or necklace, I always find the look overwhelming on me. I think this also goes back to being petite. Things that I love in magazines never look right on me. Add necklaces to this. I also hate the feeling of anything around my wrist, though I love the look of watches and bracelets. When I wear one, I always take it off in the car as soon as I head for home. I am so weird.

3. I need a haircut in a bad way. I also need to get it colored. I started going grey at the ripe old age of 22 (thanks, genetics!) and now I have serious grey tufts of hair around my face. I don't mind the random streaks on the rest of my head, but seeing white around my ears and temples makes me want to poke my eyes out. I have taken to braiding my bangs back into my ponytail, but that has to stop for now because the flipping braid is GREY. That's super hot. I hate coloring my own hair because I was cursed blessed with the thickest hair in the world. I have to buy 3 bottles of color for one all over coloring. And even then, I make a giant mess, get it all over myself and the bathroom, destroy at least two towels, and end up with hair that is several different colors because I always miss spots in the back. And it makes my arms hurt. But it costs an arm and a leg to get all that done and I have to waste one of Colin's entire school days to accomplish it. And there is always something else that needs to get done during those few precious child-free hours. And you can't let just anyone cut very thick hair. You can't imagine how horribly it can go wrong. And of course, my trusted Leslie is 40 minutes from my house and always booked a month in advance. Sigh. Maybe now is a good time to really give that fedora thing a try. :-)

4. There needs to be a system of checks and balances for food bloggers. There is some horrible stuff out there. It is clear to me that I am a raging food snob and I am trying to get over it, but I can almost always assure you that if a recipe calls for a can of "cream of anything" soup, I will hate it. I is almost un-American of me. I am even embarrassed to admit it to people. I hate King Ranch Chicken. It is probably some type of sacrilege. But I keep trying stuff that sounds easy and calls for cans of soup because I spend a fortune on groceries and spend hours in my kitchen and I need to have simple days, too. Being a food snob takes up a lot of time. I found a food blogger on Pinterest the other day who listed several hummus recipes, none of which used tahini paste. There is no such thing as hummus without tahini. Sure, maybe it is a tasty dip of some kind, but it's not hummus. What if someone had never made hummus and was going to give it their first shot after reading her blog? They would probably think immediately that they did something wrong because it didn't taste like hummus and would assume that hummus is just one of those things that can't be made at home. And they would be so wrong because hummus is so easy and so much better made at home! I know...I need to take up yoga or meditation. I think way too much. (and I promise that I don't mind folks who like stuff with cream soup. I am well aware that I am strange.) I also don't really like ice cream. Or ketchup. Or processed cheese on burgers. Or peas. It is amazing that I have friends. ;-)

5. As of this week, I officially lost all the weight that I gained on those fertility drugs! I am back down to exactly where I was when I lost my weight in the summer of 2010. I feel a thousand times better! Gaining that much weight that fast was unsettling and it feels good to be back to normal. I need to start doing some serious strength training now...I am feeling a little bit saggy this time around. I can tell that I am getting older because things don't seem to pop back into place like they did in years past. I feel great about the big weight loss, but now I would like to tone up. I am horrible at working out and I am determined to change that. I am so flaky when it comes to the gym.

6. I am now obsessed with making cute lunches for Colin. I have started a new mission to make him something exciting and wonderful every time. I blame this entirely on Pinterest. And the fact that I have a personal goal to make Colin the happiest kid on the planet. I know that he struggles with certain things, so I find myself wanting to bring him joy in unexpected places. I like the idea of lunch being a happy surprise, so I keep trying to make it cuter and better and more delicious. And as it turns out, there are tons of blogs that are dedicated solely to packing lunches! Damn you, Pinterest.

7. My child is the strangest kid sometimes. Today, I made him homemade waffles for breakfast. He started crying because he didn't want them. My husband, who had already eaten, came in and ate two of them in the hopes that I wouldn't set our house on fire with my mind.

8. They opened a Yankee Candle Store in Southlake Town Center. I just happen to be obsessed with holiday scented candles. And now there is a whole speciality store dedicated to them. With hundreds of scents that you can't find in other stores. So, if you need me, you know where to look.

9. I went to the live show of "So You Think You Can Dance" for the 3rd year in a row this week. I have the most wonderful friends in the whole world and find myself extremely lucky to have a group of best girls who share my goal of being a dancer when we grow up. Because it could totally still happen. You don't know! It could!

10. I am not a fan of grumpy people. I have a few friends on Facebook who do nothing but update their status with how much everything sucks. I feel sad for people who can't think positively. Which begs the point, do grumpy people hate seeing all my happy posts? Probably so. I always think about ones threshold for stuff like that. For example, I have one Facebook acquaintance (a family member of a friend...rather obscure) who drives me absolutely bonkers with her updates. She ends everything she writes with 2 exclamation points and her posts are only a couple of glitter unicorn stickers short of making my head explode. She says stuff like, "Going to Chick-Fil-A!!", "Standing in line at Target!!", "Drinking a pumpkin spice latte while my 2 year old practices her calligraphy and I put my feet up after feeding the homeless and curing cancer!!" Okay, maybe the last one is an exaggeration, but not by much. ;-) She drives me absolutely insane. So, I have my own personal threshold established, and I am sure that some of my more cynical friends are annoyed by my usually upbeat posts. And I know that my childless friends probably think that my frequent posts about Colin are the most annoying thing ever. But I quit worrying about it. I gotta be me!

And thus concludes the most random blog post of all time. If you read all of this, you are even more aware that I am a crazy girl. :-)

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