Halloween 2011

We just made it through one heck of a holiday weekend! I was very happy to wake up this morning to November and a break in all the action! We had so much fun this year! Let's recap the festivities, shall we?

Last weekend, we had a blast at the McGehearty's annual kids Halloween party. My friend Heather throws the absolute best parties in the world...she is just a natural at it! The kids had a blast making homemade slime, eating all sorts of ghoulish treats and going for "spider hunts" in the backyard (tons of plastic spiders were spread everywhere!). They even had a pinata, which is always a HUGE hit with our crowd. :-) Colin spent the majority of the party with Lindsey's sweet baby boy Nolan. He LOVES that baby! He also loves Lindsey...as we were leaving, he said, "WAIT! I can't leave without telling Lindsey goodbye!". It was so sweet!

This past week was when things really kicked up a notch on the busy scale. My mom came to town on Wednesday and spent the rest of the week staying with us, which was awesome! I LOVE that she is retired now and can come and spend time with us whenever she wants to. Colin was over the moon about it and every morning that she was here, Colin got up in the morning and got in her bed, rather than coming to wake me up. Which leads me to the part of the post where I ask my mother to move in permanently. ;-) We really had the greatest week ever. On Thursday, she took me and my sister Alieson to lunch at Brio's and then we spent way too much time in the Yankee Candle Store. That place is heaven on earth, I tell you! On Friday, Jer had a random day off and my mom and I got to spend literally the whole day together while he babysat. I honestly can't remember the last time that I spent a day with my mom like that and it was heavenly! The first place we stopped was Gap so that she could pick up a pair of pants. I was milling around and saw the cutest hat in the world. I snatched it up and showed my mom that it was exactly what I was talking about in my last blog post. She kept telling me that it was fabulous and that I should get it and that I was being an idiot by not wearing one if I liked it. The two sales people overheard our conversation and immediately chimed in about my hat debate. I had the whole store involved at this point. ;-) They both said the hat was fantastic and that I should get it. One of them even snapped the tags off right there and stuck the hat on my head, telling me to wear it out the door right then. So, what else could I do?! I wore it! I got a huge kick from the big response I got on the blog post and it was cracking me up that I turned around and bought the hat. I was determined to make a go of it! As soon as I walked out the door with my mom, a woman who was in the parking lot called out to me, telling me that she loved my hat. My mom was all, "SEE?!". It was hysterical. Now determined, I wore that hat for all of the next half hour. The problem with wool hats in Texas is that by noon, it is too damn hot to wear them. I begrudgingly abandoned the hat to the car, but I promise you that I am going to rock that thing this winter, along with the cashmere beret that sits gathering dust in my closet! Who cares what other people think! I like it! At 34 years old, I figure I should stop worrying so much about what other people think, anyway. My mom took this shot with my phone...not a great picture, but a FABULOUS hat!

We kept making our rounds after that and hit several more stores. I didn't really buy anything else, but had a great time drooling over all the awesome fall clothes. We had lunch at Cafe Express and then I took my mom over to see the giant dutch oven that I want for Christmas. It was a perfect day! I then spent the remainder of the afternoon and night making my homemade cinnamon rolls to take to Tanya's baby shower the next morning. Tanya is due with little Vivian Ruth on Thanksgiving day and we gave her a shower on Saturday morning. Kim hosted at her house and we all contributed dishes. I made the cinnamon rolls for everyone last Christmas and they were requested again, so I got down to business on Friday afternoon. :-) They take forever to make, but aren't hard to do at all. The reward for your time is SO WORTH IT and let's just say that my diet was NOT followed on Saturday. I ate my fair share of those babies. I have a major problem with pastry. MAJOR. Anyway, the shower was so much fun and my mom got to go with me! It felt great to have my mom finally meet and hang out with some of my friends. I am always so jealous of my friends who have their parents living close by. She took the following picture for us...Tanya is the pregnant red-headed supermodel standing behind me, in case you didn't know. :-) What a great morning!

That night, we had our annual "grown-ups only" Halloween party to attend and I was yet again so thankful to my mom for staying with us all weekend and taking care of the little man. We had the best time ever and didn't make it home until 1:30am, which is LATE for us old folks. Jer and I managed to snag "sexiest couple", but since he threatened to murder me, I don't have any pictures to show. HA!! I do have one of me with a couple of friends, but I cropped them out because I need express written consent to share grown-up Halloween party pictures on the worldwide web. :-) I think I was a very good "Brownie", if i do say so myself. I thought my addition of bows with the beret pretty much made it.

So, FINALLY, we come to yesterday...HALLOWEEN! Colin went to school and they had their big Halloween party. They did a "trunk-or-treat" this year where the cars line up in the parking lot and decorate their trunks and hand out candy. They also had two bounce houses set up and a photo op that was adorable. I volunteered to work, so I had the first shift and got to see a ton of precious little cuties. I ran home afterwards, picked up Jer and came back for Colin's turn. He was so precious in his "builder" costume and had a great time trick-or-treating to all the trunks. After that, I ran to the store and stocked up for the trick-or-treat get together that we hosted here at the house. I made chili with cornbread and spiked cider and we had the Parkers and Turners over for some dinner and trick-or-treating. It was a blast!! Colin loved having his buddies to walk around with and the kids all had the most fun. All in all, we had a PERFECT Halloween this year! Here are some of the great shots from yesterdays festivities:

I am so thankful this year, more than ever before, to have my wonderful family. My son and husband are my whole world and my blessings are endless. I am a very lucky girl.

Watch Out World...She's Ready to Overshare!

Things that are on my mind in no particular order:

1. I don't understand hats. Americans in general don't understand them, I suppose. Cute hats are the trend right now, but I can't figure out how to wear them. I was in Charming Charlie the other day and there were so many cute hats, but buying one gives me a panic attack. I bought the cutest cashmere winter beret last year which I wore zero times. I couldn't figure out when to wear it. When it's cold...sure...but then do you keep it on inside? Do you take it off? If you wear one of the new fedora type hats, when the heck do you take that off? Do you wear it all the time? Do you look like a giant dork if you're 34 years old and rocking one in the middle of Bed Bath and Beyond? I am going to put money on that answer being "yes". I always secretly like trends that I don't think I am cool enough or British enough to pull off. This section also applies to scarves. I love scarves. I cannot bring myself to wear one. I always look like a giant walking scarf with a head. Do they sell scarves for short girls? Below is what I don't look like in a scarf:
Did she take this off when she got to her destination? I just don't know.

2. I look and (more importantly) feel like an idiot when I wear a necklace. I put this into the category of "things that are wrong with Chalna". I love necklaces...all those big, chunky, fabulous things hanging in every store...but when I get one home, it sits without ever being worn. I talk myself out of wearing one 99.9% of the time. First of all, I feel like they are too dressy for almost everywhere I ever go. If I am going out for girls night or a date with Jer, I will put one on and wear it for about 15 minutes around the house and then take it off before I leave. I always decide that I don't like something about it. Just the feeling of a big necklace around my throat is oddly uncomfortable to me. And regardless of the outfit or necklace, I always find the look overwhelming on me. I think this also goes back to being petite. Things that I love in magazines never look right on me. Add necklaces to this. I also hate the feeling of anything around my wrist, though I love the look of watches and bracelets. When I wear one, I always take it off in the car as soon as I head for home. I am so weird.

3. I need a haircut in a bad way. I also need to get it colored. I started going grey at the ripe old age of 22 (thanks, genetics!) and now I have serious grey tufts of hair around my face. I don't mind the random streaks on the rest of my head, but seeing white around my ears and temples makes me want to poke my eyes out. I have taken to braiding my bangs back into my ponytail, but that has to stop for now because the flipping braid is GREY. That's super hot. I hate coloring my own hair because I was cursed blessed with the thickest hair in the world. I have to buy 3 bottles of color for one all over coloring. And even then, I make a giant mess, get it all over myself and the bathroom, destroy at least two towels, and end up with hair that is several different colors because I always miss spots in the back. And it makes my arms hurt. But it costs an arm and a leg to get all that done and I have to waste one of Colin's entire school days to accomplish it. And there is always something else that needs to get done during those few precious child-free hours. And you can't let just anyone cut very thick hair. You can't imagine how horribly it can go wrong. And of course, my trusted Leslie is 40 minutes from my house and always booked a month in advance. Sigh. Maybe now is a good time to really give that fedora thing a try. :-)

4. There needs to be a system of checks and balances for food bloggers. There is some horrible stuff out there. It is clear to me that I am a raging food snob and I am trying to get over it, but I can almost always assure you that if a recipe calls for a can of "cream of anything" soup, I will hate it. I know...it is almost un-American of me. I am even embarrassed to admit it to people. I hate King Ranch Chicken. It is probably some type of sacrilege. But I keep trying stuff that sounds easy and calls for cans of soup because I spend a fortune on groceries and spend hours in my kitchen and I need to have simple days, too. Being a food snob takes up a lot of time. I found a food blogger on Pinterest the other day who listed several hummus recipes, none of which used tahini paste. There is no such thing as hummus without tahini. Sure, maybe it is a tasty dip of some kind, but it's not hummus. What if someone had never made hummus and was going to give it their first shot after reading her blog? They would probably think immediately that they did something wrong because it didn't taste like hummus and would assume that hummus is just one of those things that can't be made at home. And they would be so wrong because hummus is so easy and so much better made at home! I know...I need to take up yoga or meditation. I think way too much. (and I promise that I don't mind folks who like stuff with cream soup. I am well aware that I am strange.) I also don't really like ice cream. Or ketchup. Or processed cheese on burgers. Or peas. It is amazing that I have friends. ;-)

5. As of this week, I officially lost all the weight that I gained on those fertility drugs! I am back down to exactly where I was when I lost my weight in the summer of 2010. I feel a thousand times better! Gaining that much weight that fast was unsettling and it feels good to be back to normal. I need to start doing some serious strength training now...I am feeling a little bit saggy this time around. I can tell that I am getting older because things don't seem to pop back into place like they did in years past. I feel great about the big weight loss, but now I would like to tone up. I am horrible at working out and I am determined to change that. I am so flaky when it comes to the gym.

6. I am now obsessed with making cute lunches for Colin. I have started a new mission to make him something exciting and wonderful every time. I blame this entirely on Pinterest. And the fact that I have a personal goal to make Colin the happiest kid on the planet. I know that he struggles with certain things, so I find myself wanting to bring him joy in unexpected places. I like the idea of lunch being a happy surprise, so I keep trying to make it cuter and better and more delicious. And as it turns out, there are tons of blogs that are dedicated solely to packing lunches! Damn you, Pinterest.

7. My child is the strangest kid sometimes. Today, I made him homemade waffles for breakfast. He started crying because he didn't want them. My husband, who had already eaten, came in and ate two of them in the hopes that I wouldn't set our house on fire with my mind.

8. They opened a Yankee Candle Store in Southlake Town Center. I just happen to be obsessed with holiday scented candles. And now there is a whole speciality store dedicated to them. With hundreds of scents that you can't find in other stores. So, if you need me, you know where to look.

9. I went to the live show of "So You Think You Can Dance" for the 3rd year in a row this week. I have the most wonderful friends in the whole world and find myself extremely lucky to have a group of best girls who share my goal of being a dancer when we grow up. Because it could totally still happen. You don't know! It could!

10. I am not a fan of grumpy people. I have a few friends on Facebook who do nothing but update their status with how much everything sucks. I feel sad for people who can't think positively. Which begs the point, do grumpy people hate seeing all my happy posts? Probably so. I always think about ones threshold for stuff like that. For example, I have one Facebook acquaintance (a family member of a friend...rather obscure) who drives me absolutely bonkers with her updates. She ends everything she writes with 2 exclamation points and her posts are only a couple of glitter unicorn stickers short of making my head explode. She says stuff like, "Going to Chick-Fil-A!!", "Standing in line at Target!!", "Drinking a pumpkin spice latte while my 2 year old practices her calligraphy and I put my feet up after feeding the homeless and curing cancer!!" Okay, maybe the last one is an exaggeration, but not by much. ;-) She drives me absolutely insane. So, I have my own personal threshold established, and I am sure that some of my more cynical friends are annoyed by my usually upbeat posts. And I know that my childless friends probably think that my frequent posts about Colin are the most annoying thing ever. But I quit worrying about it. I gotta be me!

And thus concludes the most random blog post of all time. If you read all of this, you are even more aware that I am a crazy girl. :-)

A Fall Love Affair

October is everything that is good. October is everything that I wait for. It's like a giant door that I get to open, that I have been making my way toward for the last 9 months. Finally, I have arrived and I can push the antique handles and throw the doors wide. I peek inside for the first time and I see everything that I have been waiting for looming in front of me. Pumpkins and flickering candle light and cider on the stove...cozy blankets, pot roast, fireplaces and fuzzy socks. Cold rain tapping on the windows, boots and sweaters. Pies and trick-or-treaters and Colin in footed pajamas. Picking out costumes and drawing whiskers on my cheeks to make my baby laugh. Pilgrim and Indian costumes made from construction paper, apples, Christmas candles, turtlenecks. Twinkling lights, mittens, pumpkin spice lattes, rain boots and letters to Santa. The city tree lighting on a frosty night, the radio station that switches to Christmas carols on November 1st, the endless stream of themed playdates and the smell of cinnamon. My wonderful husband teetering on a ladder to put the lights on the roof, Colin jumping up and down while we pull the giant tubs of decorations out of the attic, stacking all his Christmas books back on the low shelf for him. Flipping on the Christmas tree and the mantle first thing in the morning while your coffee is still steaming in your hand. The jingle bells of the Salvation Army ringing as you go shopping, turkey and dressing, the first snow flurries. Carefully picking out the yearly family ornament, Colin's Christmas program at school, and decorating cookies. Watching television with Jer after Colin goes to bed with only the twinkle of the Christmas tree to light the room. Cracker cookies, chocolate pie, the smell of candy canes. Christmas cards littering the front of the fridge, finding an extra ugly holiday sweater to wear to the Turners, giant batches of homemade cinnamon rolls spread all over my counter tops. Watching all the Charlie Brown specials, making the first batch of Chex Mix for the season while we watch Polar Express, and cuddling with Jer for our annual viewing of "Love Actually". Flickering Jack-O-Lanterns on the front porch, the Cowboys on Thanksgiving, tubes of wrapping paper stacked in my closet. Watching all of this through the innocence of Colin's eyes...THIS is what I see when I open that door. I am standing at the precipice and every perfect memory for this year is ahead of me. For a few brief days at the beginning of October, I get to revel in the possibility that this year might be the best holiday season yet. In what will end up feeling like the blink of an eye, it will be January and I will be starting the journey all over again. But right now, it is time for the fun to begin!

We had our first real cold front on Sunday and we ended up having the best morning ever. We have been suffering through a major drought and poor Colin was literally beside himself to see the rain when he woke up. It was like he was seeing it for the first time! He immediately requested his raincoat, boots and umbrella and ran out in it to play. It was pouring and his boots immediately filled with water, so he took them off. He was soaked to the bone and having more fun than I could ever have imagined. I sat in the garage with my camera and played around with it while Colin was busy playing. I ended up with the most amazing shots, as you can see! He played for over an hour in the downpour and I asked him at one point if he was too cold...it was around 65 degrees and he was soaked. I LOVED his response; he said, "Mom, I AM COLD! I am COLD and WET and I love it!". Only a Texan child at the end of a brutal summer could come up with that line. It is lucky for him that I recently watched the "Mythbusters" episode about wet and cold not being able to make you sick. He's going to have a lot more fun since that old wives tale got debunked. :-) While he wasn't paying attention to me, I managed to catch these close-up shots that make me melt. You can even see the little water droplets perched on his nose! These shots capture Colin the way I think of him...thoughtful, inquisitive and constantly pondering things that I probably can't even imagine. He is so beautiful and I love him so much that it hurts sometimes. With a start like this, I can't help but feel that we are going to have an amazing fall to remember.

It's FALL, Ya'll!

It is official...the endless summer of 2011 is finally over. We are still alive. Sure, it was 95 degrees here this afternoon, but it's not summer. And that means something! For the past few weeks, I have been wasting time keeping busy on Pinterest looking at fall decoration crafts. I finally decided to bite the bullet and try to do some seasonal stuff on my own and I am pretty stinking proud of myself!! First of all, I am not crafty. At all. I know what I love, but I can't ever seem to duplicate things on my own. I cook. That's what I do. Anyway...Pinterest started making me believe that even I could accomplish some of the cute seemingly simple stuff out there. So I made a trip to Hobby Lobby and also used some of my own stuff and came up with some inexpensive decorations that I made BY MYSELF! Yep, this post is all about patting myself on the back. :-)

Let's start by discussing what an asset Ferris Mewler is to decorating. He is clearly not one to miss a photo op. I call this "Cat Who Bites in Fall".

So, here is my first Pinterest project and I LOVE IT! I filled mason jars with candy corn, stuck little LED lights in the center and tied twine and leaves to it. Super cheap and Colin and I did the whole project together, which he adored. WIN!

Next, I just stuck some random fall berry and flower sticks that I found into my usual vase that sits on the side table. I got a bunch of cheap ribbon and used it to tie the bow...instant autumn. Normally, I would be scared to add orange touches to a blue vase, but I think it works. I am proud of myself for thinking outside the box. ;-)

I am SUPER excited over this one...my entry way. I MADE THAT WREATH!! I feel like I need an "Amen". This is stuff that my mom is WONDERFUL at doing and I have always wanted to make stuff like this. I feel like I channeled her today. :-) It was so easy! $4 wooden wreath, ribbon and a couple of those sticks of leaves. Throw a couple of grocery store pumpkin underneath, and I am good to go.

Another view, since I am having so much fun bragging at the moment.

Finally, the mantle. I can't believe that I did that on my own. I wish I could have gotten a better shot, but it was hard to photograph with the evening light and the mirrors that I have on either wall. I bought plain glass vases and then created the flower arrangements with little grocery store pumpkins, silk leaves and simple bows that I made. I added leaves and pumpkins to the mantle and stuck a couple of our frames back up there. I kept seeing the vases filled with pumpkins on Pinterest and it turned out just as cute as the ones I saw! YEA!

Last but not least, I had a lot of candy corn and jars, so I made these, too. I am going to pick up more of those little LED lights soon and light these up all over the place. They glow so pretty with all the orange and will be awesome for Halloween night.

So, there you have it...proof positive that Pinterest has taken over my life. :-) Have I mentioned how much I love this season?!

Chocolate Breakfast Bribery

I have recently put together a recipe that I want to share with everyone...and it is totally random. I feel the need to share this information because (for the moment), it is changing my life! So Colin does not eat. EVER. He actually likes lots of foods, but he is just not ever hungry...or so he says. He eats like a bird and grazes all day long, with two bites of something here or there. The pediatrician is not worried about his skinny self, so I have not stressed out about it too much. One thing that does bother me is breakfast. Colin is not an early morning eater at all, usually preferring to eat no earlier 10am, with the exception of some apple juice. I am having a hard time getting any food inside him before school and that bothers me to no end! So, I came up with this idea a few days ago and tried it out...and it WORKED! Everyone probably already does this, but I just now figured it out. :-) I bought tubes of Pillsbury Crescent Rolls, which now come in little 4 packs, so I can make small batches without wasting. I lay out the triangles of dough and then spread a thin layer of Nutella on top. I also get about 10-12 chocolate chips and sit them at the large end of the triangle. Then roll them up like you always do and VOILA!, you have chocolate crescent rolls! Bake them at 375 for about 12 minutes. In the last 5 minutes, I brush the tops with a bit of butter and sprinkle sugar on top. It makes them look much prettier and Colin loves the sugar crunch on top...that is actually what convinced him to try these. HA! Anyway, he is obviously a big chocolate fan, and he loves these! He eats them up!! I know this is not exactly a "healthy breakfast", but Colin is all skin and bones, so I am super excited to have him eat some calories for a change. The awesome thing about these rolls is that you can make a TON of varieties and make them as healthy as you want. I have done Nutella and sliced strawberries, ham and cheese, scrambled egg, cheese and sausage, and even just peach jam! If it is baked into the middle of a crescent, Colin is into it...at least at the moment. You never know with this kid. It takes zero time to roll stuff into that dough and stick it in the oven. I love it! Also, just as a heads up, I originally tried it with just the chocolate chips inside and while Colin liked them, they were kind of dry and he basically just ate around the chocolate inside and left the crescent. I tried Nutella spread over the whole triangle and THEN adding the chips and that is seriously amazing. There is gooey chocolate through the whole thing and Colin doesn't leave a crumb behind. We always have a giant tub of Nutella laying around, so that has been a main ingredient. I am going to be getting creative in the next few weeks and seeing what other combos I can come up with for the insides. I am going to keep milking this for all it is worth before he decides he no longer likes crescent rolls. ;-) I told you it was random! Here is a picture from this morning:

Ten Years Ago

At the end of August 2001, I accepted my dream job...a charter sales rep position for Atlantic Aviation out of Teterboro, the private airport for New York City. Atlantic Aviation sits 12 miles from midtown Manhattan, just over the George Washington Bridge. I will never forget when my new boss showed me my desk...it faced the window and my view was the NYC skyline . I had worked in private aviation and charter for years at that point and had worked for a prominent "New York Area Operator" before, but at a smaller airport further from the city. Actually working in Teterboro was where the real action was...it was the pinnacle of private aviation and I wanted more than anything to succeed there. I was so excited the day they offered me the position that I could hardly contain myself. This little Texan was going to charter jets around the world with NYC as my backdrop. Needless to say, I was thrilled.

I had various company indoc days and met with the Chief Pilot and Director of Maintenance on Monday, September 10, 2001. At the time, I was living with my good friend April while I looked for my own apartment. I don't remember what we did that night because in those last moments of innocence, we didn't know we would have the next day imprinted on our souls forever. I was scheduled to go to work on Tuesday, September 11th. I was training that whole week in preparation to take over my position officially on Monday. That Tuesday, I didn't have to be there until noon for a lunch meeting and then training through the evening. I was also still helping April (who ran the charter ops for Jer's company) and going in to work with her. I woke up that morning leisurely and I remember every single tiny moment that happened. It actually unsettles me to think about it because I can still see the creases in the bedspread around me (a vintage looking patchwork quilt full of pinks and blues), the bedside table full of make-up, the shaggy cat at my feet. I sat up in bed and, as usual, flipped the television set on. I was still under the covers a few minutes later and April was standing in the bathroom on my right hand side, blow drying her hair. I can see it perfectly in my minds eye. The news cut to a breaking story. Video was playing of an airplane hitting the World Trade Center. In that first moment, it was just grainy local footage of what looked like a small plane going in one of the windows. Keeping in mind that I worked in aviation, chartered airplanes and dealt with pilots on a daily basis, my very first thought was, "Oh my God...some idiot in a Cessna seriously just managed to crash himself into a building.". I called out that exact line to April, who couldn't hear me over the hairdryer. I waved my hand to get her attention and she switched the dryer off. I said, "You are not going to BELIEVE what this pilot just did! Get in here! There's not even any weather!! How the hell do you run into a building in the city!? ". She scooted into the room and sat down next to me on the bed, wearing a terry cloth robe and half a head of wet hair. We kept watching the news unfold and began debating on whether the guy had instrument ratings and what kind of plane he was flying. We shook our heads and talked about pilots with too much money who would fly solo when they clearly weren't ready. We wondered how many people were hurt around the windows and how they would possibly move the body of the aircraft out of the building. We were backed up on pillows together and April was calling her boss to see if he saw it when the second plane hit. Then it was all over. We stopped talking and just stared at the screen. Space and time stood still. I can see the walls of the entertainment center, the buttons on the TV, the white lace curtains to my left and the bright lights of the bathroom to my right. The whole moment is simply frozen inside me. We had no idea what was going on, but we knew New York City, we knew airplanes and we knew pilots. We knew that our universe was suddenly upside down. Without speaking, April went downstairs to call her mom from the home phone. I picked up my cell and called my dad. It was an hour earlier in Texas and he was alone in his office. He answered the phone with, "This is Daddy!" like he always does when he sees my number. I remember that I couldn't get the words out for a split second and then all I could manage was, "Daddy. Airplanes are flying into the WTC". He said, "WHAT?" and I repeated myself. He said, "Chalna, where are you??". "Not there" was my response...I assured him that I was safe at April's house and we got off the phone. I remember the terror building inside me like a fire. We had airplanes in the air, 3 or 4 crews out on trips at that moment. That meant that my friends were unaccounted for...flying in a sky that appeared to be dropping airplanes into buildings. Jeremy, who was my boyfriend at the time, was at recurrent training in Delaware with one of our other pilots. During training, they are locked away in classrooms and wouldn't know what was happening outside. I left him several voicemails. The rest of the morning is a nightmarish blur. It took hours to account for our crews that were in the air at the time. They were having to land in random places around the country after ATC ordered everyone out of the sky. I was sick to my stomach as we paced around April's office and watched the news unfold while we waited for our boys to land and check in. We reserved hotel rooms in their various cities, where they were stuck for 2 days, if I remember correctly. We cried a lot. I was overjoyed when Jer finally called...just to hear the sound of his voice was amazing that day. Over at my new office in NYC, a lot of people were already in the office when it happened. All the bridges into the city were shut down immediately and nobody in my office could get home. Everyone at the airport was basically stranded. Most of my co-workers were forced to spend the night on the office floor. Obviously, I couldn't make it in for my noon meeting and I remember being so glad that I wasn't there but guilty for feeling the relief. It feels like it was the longest day in my life. I imagine it will feel that way to me forever. I was paralyzed with fear and dread and it felt like something died inside me. It's so hard to put into words. It happened in my beautiful city and the vehicles for destruction were airplanes flown by pilots...my whole world and everything important to me seemingly coming down around me. It was too close to home. My career, my best friends, the love of my life...all in aviation right there where it happened. I felt like I had to remind myself to breathe that day. NYC - where my dreams came true, where my career took off, where I spent my Saturday nights, where I got lost all the time and honked at every 5 minutes. Where I met clients for lunch and watched Rent over and over again. Where I learned that I could make something of myself. Where I ate real Chinese food and went to bars with unmarked doors. All of this weighed on me that day and I felt like the terrorists attacked me personally. Everyone in that area did. It gives me chills up and down right now as I type. That feeling took a long time to let go of.

I will never ever forget the moment when our pilots came home. I can't explain the fear in the beginning when we didn't know where they were and who was hijacking planes. Because of air traffic being completely shut down, we weren't able to see them immediately. April and I were waiting for them on the tarmac when the owner of our company and his co-pilot landed, another one right behind them with two more of our guys flying. It was dusk and the sun was going down. We ran out to the tarmac, not even waiting for them to shut down the engines, and flung ourselves at them. All of the people that worked at the FBO came out and the entire group of us stood out there by the plane, hugging and crying and holding on to each other. The strangest part was that we didn't say anything. Nobody in the whole crowd said a word. We just embraced each other and thanked God that everyone was accounted for. It was a moment that will live inside me for the rest of my life. It could have just as easily been one of them and we all knew it.

I went back to work, of course. Life had to go on. The first days were horrible. People that I worked with lost friends and loved ones. The smoke continued to billow skyward for weeks. I ended up switching my desk around so that I was not looking directly out my window all day long. My view, all day every day, was Ground Zero burning. It was a constant reminder that nothing was okay anymore. Absolutely every single thing about my job changed that day. There is a clear "before" and "after" in aviation, especially in New York. Every single morning, I could not drive into our parking lot without having my trunk searched by police. They checked every vehicle that entered our facility, 24 hours a day. If you left for lunch and came back, they checked you again. I even got to know the different police officers and would greet them by name. They used to make fun of my messy trunk and I actually starting keeping the car clean so that the search was quicker. In the beginning, we had armed Marines on patrol in my office 24/7. Fully uniformed Marines with giant machine guns that hung at their sides. They were everywhere. The sad part about that is that we loved it. Nothing about our jobs seemed safe anymore and it was so easy to get yourself in a panic. Our front doors led directly out onto the ramp, where the private jets board passengers. I found myself searching every face that walked by and wondering if the person was going to hijack our planes. It felt sort of like a traumatic stress disorder...you were constantly wondering if you were safe. The fierce looking Marines on patrol made me feel better. We had all sorts of new rules. You couldn't go out onto the ramp without airport identification and the port authority had to do a background check before you could get it. If you left your badge at home, you were going back to get it. Passengers for trips had to be walked outside by someone with an ID, even if the airplane was in plain view right in front of the doors. Marines, and later police, would stop you as soon as you walked out the door. All passengers had to be checked against the brand new, and now infamous, no-fly list. The list was updated by the Department of Defense constantly and each and every passenger had to be checked against it before all flights. We had to include the information on all the trip sheets we made (those are the formal itinerary sheets that the pilots take) and label which revision of the list we had used. If another revision came out after we checked passengers, you had to go back and do it again. Private flights were very laid back before...the closest thing to a terminal was our sliding doors that led to the ramp. Your jet picked you up right there. Pilots would shake your hand as you entered and then just take off. Now they had to check ID's and passengers had pat downs and luggage checks. Everything was different. We quickly adapted to the police and military presence, but the smoke was impossible to get used to. The smoke rising daily from the skyline was the most scarring part for me. I can still see it perfectly.

There were good moments that came out of the destruction. The feelings of love and unity and patriotism were absolutely overwhelming in NYC during that time. As you walked down the street, you could feel an almost palpable gravity between you and the strangers that you passed. It was like we were one big family, tied together in this horrible tragedy. People hugged more. We kept our flags out. Folks would randomly run up to the Marines in our lobby and shake their hands and bring them notes of thanks. And forget it if you saw a fireman in those days. These were our heroes...like angels that came to life in front of you. People would stop in the street and clap and salute. Sometimes it was hard not to cry when you saw them, even months later. Ground Zero was a whole other story. I had meetings that required I pass the area several times in those first months and it was horrific. My sisters came to stay with me during the following spring break from college and we took them down there. They got a great picture with two of the firemen that were working on the scene...still all those months later.

On the 6 month anniversary of the attacks, the city lit the Tribute in Light, which looked like twin beacons of light that shone where the buildings once stood. It stayed lit for several days and that is another sight that I will never forget. I remember standing on the ramp and staring in awe at the lights. It was so beautiful and so sad. I was 24 years old that day, a young professional just starting out...when life loomed in front of me with endless possibility and every day was an adventure. I grew up more in 2001 than any other year of my life. It sometimes feels like I went from being a girl to a woman in just that one single day. When you are young, you think that nothing can hurt you. I was invincible. After 9/11/01, I realized just how foolish that notion had been. Somehow I am waking up today and it is ten years later. I have a husband and a son and a beautiful life. I live in Texas. But today, my heart is back at Atlantic Aviation, 12 miles from Manhattan. I will never ever forget.

This paperweight sat on my desk at Atlantic and continued to sit on every desk I have had since then. It stays with me always.

Back to School!

Yesterday was the first day of school!! It was a GREAT day! I can't believe how different it was from last year...Colin has grown by leaps and bounds in the past 12 months! He was all smiles in the morning as we got dressed and ready. Jer was home, so he came with us for our inaugural donut breakfast of the 2011-2012 school year. :-) Colin was in such good spirits, despite mentioning several times that he was going to miss Miss Gina "soooo much". He was a little bit worried about not being with her, but overall he was excited and happy. He actually posed for pictures and walked happily into school. We got all the way to his new room and as I was hugging him goodbye, he got upset and wouldn't let go. Miss Vicki had to physically take him into the room while we made a run for it, but this year I was prepared for his reaction and didn't get upset. I knew it would be hard for him at first as he got back into the routine. The morning was sunny and beautiful with temps in the 70's (which I consider coat weather at this point) and I immediately took myself out for a pedicure while Jer ran his own errands. It was the best hour that I have had in a long time! Jer and I met for lunch afterwards at Zoe's Kitchen and actually ate OUTSIDE on the PATIO because the weather was NICE. It was a miracle!!

The real miracle came when I picked the little man up. As I walked up to the room, he was sitting happily in front of Miss Vicki listening to a story. Miss Mechelle met me at the door and told me that he was amazing all day! He was upset when I left, but he immediately calmed down and was cheerful and having fun all day. When he spotted me at the door, he got up and flung himself into my arms and then immediately yelled, "Close your eyes, Mom!! I have a surprise!". He then led me to his art projects from the day and showed them to me while literally jumping up and down with excitement. Miss Vicki came out to say goodbye and tell me how wonderful he was. She said, "Hey Colin, will you just run in here on Monday and not get upset?" and Colin said YES and gave her a high five! We shall see what actually happens on Monday, but it was still a positive sign regardless. :-) As we walked to the car, he held my hand and talked 90 miles an hour about his day...the different door they took to the playground, getting to use the "big kid" equipment, their class mascot (Gus, the gator), which friends from last year are in his class, what stories they read. I remember last year so well...I picked up a sullen little boy who wouldn't talk to me or let me touch him and refused to even discuss school for the first month. Now here I was barely containing him because he was so happy and excited to tell me everything. He loves school and I sure hope it stays that way! The routine of the day seems to do him so much good. He was an absolute joy last night and that continued into today. He was particularly animated today and has been much easier to deal with. I can't believe that I already notice a change! Our summer was so horrible...for the last month, we haven't even wanted to go to the pool because of the heat. Colin has been cooped up in our house or doing the same handful of things over and over and I think he was bored out of his mind and probably very tired of the sound of my voice. This week, we had a miracle of a cool down and Colin got to ride his scooter at the park and go for walks around the block. Then we added school to the mix and he seems like a new man. I am excited for next week, when we have our first full week of school and get the schedule down. It is going to be a great fall, I can already tell!

Colin making silly faces as we pulled up to school...already a VERY good sign! :-)

My BIG four year old boy outside the school!

Standing at his classroom door...he is going to be one cute Gator!

In other news, today was our first visit with Colin's new interim occupational therapist, Mary Sue. Miss Cheryl is on maternity leave for the next 2 months and while Colin was nervous at first today, he warmed right up to Mary Sue. She, of course, fell in love with him immediately. It's the dimples. :-)