Monday, April 19, 2010

Exceptional

This is a big day in our little household! We took a family trip to tour the preschool where Colin will go this fall and finally got signed up. I am just so excited!!! After much thought and looking at a lot of different options, we finally decided on a church program that is very close to home and perfect for our little man. Colin will start out attending one day a week, Mondays, with the option to increase to two or even three days as he progresses. This is a big step for Colin and I am thrilled with our choice. I love everything about the program and really loved the director and assistant that we spent time with. The assistant director is the mother of a sensitive boy who sounds much like Colin and she spoke with me about him and how she understands the process involved with helping make Colin feel at home there. That brings me a lot of peace and really makes me know that we chose the perfect place for Colin. I have confidence that he will be loved there and that is exactly what I needed. He starts this fall with the regular school calendar. The really great news is that we plan to start attending church there, which will give Colin all summer to become familiar with the facility, teachers, and being dropped off. We have not gone to church with Colin yet, but after today I feel so excited to start going and getting Colin involved in their program. By the time the school year rolls around, he should be used to being dropped off there, so the transition should be smooth. The church is a casual, open and cheerful environment and I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I truly feel like God lead me in this direction and the peace in my heart is palpable!

Last week, Kim sent me an email about a book that she stumbled upon that she thought would be helpful. That is putting it mildly. She actually gave me a huge gift in pointing me toward the book and I will be in her debt for a long time. The book is called "The Highly Sensitive Child" by Dr. Elaine Aron. She writes about a small percentage of the population (15%) who are born with a very special personality...highly sensitive. I have spent so many months quietly researching Colin and his temperament only to come to one dead end after another. Despite long hours of endless searching, nothing ever seemed to fit Colin. I always came up with information on Aspergers, which just does not fit Colin. He is sensitive and is bothered by things that other kids are not, but he meets none of the criteria to fall on the spectrum for Autism, even the most highly functioning. He clearly is not autistic, in fact he is the polar opposite of most autistic traits, but is showing signs of being gifted and hyper sensitive. Finally, finally, this book showed me the way. It is my son. It is not a disorder, as I have always known in my heart, but rather a trait he was born with that needs it's own set of parenting skills. From the first word of the book, the doctor was talking about Colin. I actually cried for the first few pages...the relief of finding information that actually fit our lives is simply invaluable. Colin is a child who notices things that others do not...from little nuances in others feelings to the smallest sounds or slightest smells. Colin experiences the world on a different level than most of us do and processes a lot more information than the average two year old. When Colin appears shy, he is really taking in his environment and seeing everything. When someone in a room is sad, Colin knows it and wonders why that is. The book also talks about these children and their innate love of babies (I really teared up when I read that...talk about Colin!) and why they like to nurture. There is so much that I can't really even discuss it all without writing for hours. He will always be easily overwhelmed by things because of how his brain works and I am now armed with information and skills to help him. I can be his champion now and help him navigate the world. The knowledge and techniques the doctor speaks about have already helped me and I am not even finished with the book yet! I feel like I have gotten to look through a window at Colin's world and everything makes more sense now. I can understand why he does not like rough housing or people in his personal space unless on his terms and I can help others understand that, too. He is a brilliant little boy and I have always always known he was special...and now I have a guide to just how special he is. There will be challenges while growing up, but heck...every parent has their own set of them!! The author calls them exceptional children and I totally agree. I am so honored that I was chosen to be his mother! There is also a good chance that it won't be long before I am not smart enough to help him with his homework, but that is another post. ;-)

So, long story long....I am having a very good day.

3 comments:

Laura said...

WOW...I feel like I just read a description of John's personality. I need to get that book and read up b/c I'm sure it would bring so much clarity to issues we have with John. He's just as you describe Colin!

So glad you found a school that you are happy with. It will be great for Colin and you!

TanyatheMom said...

I'm so happy for you....what a great feeling. In my quest for answers about my insomnia this has come to the forefront. We'll have to chat about it later.

Anonymous said...

I am so excited that you found that book...must be so wonderful to finally see something that not only matches with Colin's personality but gives you ideas on how to work with him. I know sometimes I just feel like any ideas or strategies I try using with Gabby are misguided...like I am just taking shots in the dark and hoping that I get the results I am wanting. Sometimes a little direction is priceless!

 
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