Thursday, January 31, 2008

Learning About Myself

Okay, so I am almost through my third consecutive week as a stay-at-home mother. And I have learned a few very important things about myself.

1. I took my job entirely too seriously. I jumped into my career at the ripe old age of 22 and never looked back. I am proud of being good at what I did, but I let the career become me. My whole existance was wrapped up in who I was at work. It was unhealthy and I know that now. I loved my job so much that I forgot it was important to have other things in your life. I will remember that.

2. I am a good cook. I always thought that I was a horrible cook and it turns out the problem simply revolved around what I wrote in number 1. I spent so much time at work that there was never time to do something like practice cooking. Turns out that not only do I do a pretty good job, but I also enjoy it! I find it cathartic.

3. I could be happy like this for the rest of my life. I always said that I would not be the type of woman who could happily stay home. I thought I would go crazy and be unfulfilled or something like that. As it turns out, I was wrong on so many levels. Nothing that I have ever done in my whole life compares to spending my days with this little boy. He completes me and makes me realize how unimportant so much of what I used to do actually was. I love each and every moment that I spend with him and I am so thankful that I am getting to do it. Sadly, I will have to go back to work someday (unless I win the lottery). But at least I will have each of these days as a memory. I was meant to be a mommy. Bottom line.

4. I need to write again. I got lost in my sales career and stopped writing. That was my true passion and I am going to do it again, somehow! Even though I love sales and will go back, I will still write. I am not going to lose myself into my career again. I am going to remember to keep other parts of me, like being a mommy and a writer.

There are tons of other insights that I could add here, but since Colin fell asleep at 6:45pm (good lord!), I better get some sleep before he wakes me up. There will be more to come as I am learning a whole hell of a lot about myself these days.

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